Thursday, September 30, 2010

Words Can't Express How On Tilt I Am! F Washington Government!

This needs no explanation after you read what PokerStars sent me. Just another reason to find my way out of Washington. I might of found a loophole but won't talk about it on here.

Hello wbmustang,

We regret to inform you that real money play at PokerStars is no longer permitted in Washington State.

Due to the recent Washington Supreme Court ruling on Internet gambling, we have blocked real money play for all players from Washington, effective immediately. This unfortunate step is being taken based on input from our legal team following this court ruling.

Rest assured that your account balance is safe. If you wish to cash out immediately, you can do so.

At this point, we have not yet made provisions for dealing with other balances you may have in your account, such as T-Money and unused tournament tickets. We plan to complete this process in the next 5-7 business days. We appreciate your patience.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

September Update

As always it has been way too long before I have updated this blog. I always think about updating it but don't sit myself down to actually type it. About a couple of weeks ago, my family came into town and I couldn't have been happier. It was the first time my mom and dad actually came out to visit. To be honest it kind of hurt my feelings a little bit but once they explained I felt like an asshole. I mean my sister is in a good college that they are paying for, they go out to visit and check up on her, they are busy with work, and the world doesn't revolve around me. Oh well it is what it is and now I understand and just happy for the visit. They are very happy with where I am at in life and where I live. I was pretty happy too. I mean I have to show them that they didn't just waste money by paying for me to go to school and it payed off with an engineering degree and good career start.

Sometimes I just think that college is a big scam though. Maybe because I think about what a huge investment college is. I mean everything in life has a ROI. It's just ridiculous how low the ROI for college is. I mean we have people who will major in God knows what at a good school, get consumed in student loans, then graduate and try to find a job that pays $40k unless they are an engineer, good business student, or IT/Computer work. It's just a big joke. Why are people paying ridiculous amounts of money on loans to just come out making money and hoping to scrape bye. It just is mind wrecking.

I guess that's part of my America conspiracy theory lol. I mean you get yourself into debt trying to get education. With education comes a decent job. Now you are making more money than the person who has just a high school education so you get taxed more. You are talented so you make more money and you are taxed more. Add onto that the fact you are still paying off government/bank loans for school. It's just a viscous cycle. I don't want to talk shit about anyone's interest or major but it's like if you are not gonna come out making decent money after college what's the point. I mean money isn't everything but geez you just are so handcuffed in that situation. I just think that the USA needs to be paying more money for teachers, counselors, etc to help build itself up. I mean people who teach really really love it and have a passion for it. They have to because they aren't getting paid jack and still putting in all the time and effort of teaching and bringing up the next generation. Then people complain about the shortage of teachers. Duh who wants to teach, work all those hours, and not have anything to show for it. How about increasing salaries/incentives to teachers so attract more people to the profession. I know you are gonna say wb who is going to pay for this. I don't care about all that the fact is that the people that should be getting the money are not.

But I digress. I have been doing pretty good with my diet and fairly good with my Insanity workout program. I have missed some days due to being busy but hop back on it the next day. Sometimes life gets tough but I am not going to give up my goal of finishing the program. I have lost 6 lbs in the first week of doing it so that's a plus and I will continue pushing myself.

In terms of poker volume I need to pick it up or will be paying the piper on this one. I plan of putting in some bigger sessions at night for the rest of the month. Hopefully I can play 6-8 hrs a day until the month is over. Trying to go out with a bang.

Reasons14 also has got me to order the book "Peak Performance Poker". It should be in my mailbox today and look forward to reading it. Probably will try to read it at lunch at work so I can finish it. I don't have any trips planned which sucks because plane trips are an easy way to catch up with your reading.

Other than that life is great and I couldn't be happier. Just trying to keep push myself towards my goals.

Till next time


Tuesday, September 7, 2010

26 Years Old & Goals

Well I am officially 26 years old. My birthday was on August 31st and my friends and family made it nice as usual. I always feel like I don't deserve the good people in my life but I am very fortunate to have them in my life.

As my birthday gets closer I often times tend to be very reflective. For me, it gives me time to evaluate myself as well as the last year in my life. I guess I use my birthday as a status check to see where I am at in my life. I think I learned alot about myself and my poker game this year. Although my poker results have been a lot better, I feel like I have a lot of personal development to work on. Then, I started thinking about some goals that I want to accomplish next year. As always, I was flooded with all these ideas of what I wanted to accomplish but didn't want to fool myself and write them down. I am really trying to work on fulfilling my goals and thought that the following simple goals will help me not only in life but in poker as well.

Goal 1: Don't waste time doing non value added things.

As an Industrial Engineer I am taught and trained to eliminate things that are non value added aka waste. Even though this is my profession, I fail to look at myself and realize when I am doing things that are non value added. Non value added things are defined as something that doesn't add value to a process. I feel like I waste far too much time bullshittin and not doing what I am supposed to do. I mean if I am not going to grind at least work out and study right? Well this year I am going to do a better job of valuing my time and making sure I am doing things that add value to my life whether it be spiritually, financially, or physically.

Goal 2: Set REALISTIC goals/targets and meet them.

Obviously this is a recurring thing of my blog duh, but I need to do a better job of setting realistic goals and meeting them. I have a knack of trying to do too much and often times having a high pie in the sky goal and don't even come close to meeting it. It's really starting to piss me off. I don't want to be known as a person that is just all talk. Therefore I want to be one of the people that do things instead of not doing things.

Goal 3: Get in shape and eat right.

I don't know how many countless articles/blogs I have read or podcast that I have listened to that talk about being in good physical shape will also help you mentally. I need to do a better job of not only working out but also eating better. Right now I am 26 years old and probably like in the worst shape of my life which is sad. My plan is to do the insanity workout followed by p90x to get myself in the right direction. I am going to take some before pictures very soon and will take more pictures at the beginning of the year. Regardless of how good/bad they look I will be posting the after pictures on January 1, 2011. If they look worse I will only have myself to blame so it is what it is. I have never really put myself out there like that and it is kind of hard for me. I am very self conscious of my body and the way I look actually. Even though I do have swag I don't want to look back in my life and be like oh hey why were you looking so umm fat. Yeah there is no other way to put it. I look around at work and get real scared because I don't want to look like them when I get older. Older men working in cubicles with big stomachs. Everyone always says that it is easier to lose weight when you are younger rather than when you get older. Well I am not getting any younger and need to shed the weight. Not only will it help me in the long run physically but also my mental stamina will be much higher.

Well now that is out of the way I will list the goals for September below. I am actually going to be putting my money where my mouth is so I will have some financial harm if I do not meet my goals so here they are!

September Goals

1. 1200-1500 SNGs - I have been sucking in terms of my poker volume. I mean I have barely reached 1k games very many times this year which is just gross. I have decided that for ever game that I play below 1200 SNGs I will pay $1 for each game short and donate it to a charity. If I hit that goal of 1200 SNGs and play less than 1500 SNGs I will pay $0.50 per game short. If I actually play more than 1500 I will just come out of pocket $100 and donate it to a charity. I figure it will be a win win situation and look forward to the challenge.

2. Start my diet and insanity workout - I dl'd the videos and have all the nutrition info for the program and will start using the program. My parents are here this weekend so I won't start until next Monday. I am not gonna lie to myself and start while they are here because lets face it I miss mom and dads cooking. So I will officially start on 9/12 or 9/13 just have to look at the workout schedule. I will be taking those before pics and expect to see a lot of improvement before 1/1/11. Wow that looks weird after I typed it.

Well that's it for now. I want to take time to say thank you to all the people that read my blog, my poker network, family, friends, and people that genuinely support me. I don't know where I would be in my life without you and the best is yet to come.


August Results

Well the results speak for themselves. I had a decent month I guess but my volume is still sorry and my profit could have been better. Not much to say because there only so much you can talk about with 951 games played. However, I am proud that while I was breaking even I increased the amount of studying I was doing. I have also sought after more players to exchange some hand histories with so that is always good. It is always funny how many different styles produce positive results. I guess that's how the game goes though. Will post my goals for the month as well as some other thoughts in my next post.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

No Traction

It seems right now I have no traction. One day I win around $400 the next day I lose $300. It's all good it just feels like I can't get any traction going this month. Although I don't know how much I can complain. I mean I am up money and know that I am running bad late in the 180's by either not having my big hands hold or shoving and someone waking up with a monster.

However, this stretch has made me look at my game and seek out other players to do some reviews with. That is always a good thing. I mean poker is such a psychological game it's ridiculous. One day you can be playing so well and crushing and the next you can be playing well and just run like death. SNG's are all about REPETITION and it's hard for the psychi to think you are doing things correct but you are still not getting the results. That's one thing you have to do is stick to your game. Sure you can make some adjustments.

One big adjustment I need to make is refining my ranges at 45 man final tables. I think I have gotten far too gambly and I blame that solely on the way that 180's play. I need to make a concerted effort to analyze the whole situation before making my moves. For the most part I am good at this but sometimes I have a mental laps and either call or shove and then realize oh snap that was a 45 man table.

"You plug the volume the money will come". I think it was PortlyPig or MSU that said that and it is true. I just need to work on getting in volume. It's hard though especially in the summers in Seattle. There are only so many months of good weather and after that it sucks so gotta take advantage.

Outside of poker I have started to play basketball one time a week as well as playing softball. Everything is going well but I need to do more work outside of those days to get back in shape. The only thing that sucks is that my knees start to get stiff on me if I give them a rest in between games. I am contemplating purchasing some knee braces to help with this issue.


Friday, August 13, 2010


I promise I have to be the most irresponsible 25 year old there is. I have to get this together. Once again me being unprofessional has cost me not only a little money but also precious time. No it's not that much money. The time lost means more to me than anything. But, I need to tighten up and get my shit together. Especially after the foolishness of missing that Dominican Republic flight and the bullshit I had to do to make the trip.

This weekend I will not being playing poker. I will be doing a lot of soul searching and meditating. I plan on putting together some goals and plans for myself. I plan on sealing them in an envelope and putting them in a safe deposit box. I won't open the letters to the appropriate date and then see how I did. Hopefully this will give me some motivation.


Thursday, August 12, 2010

Bun B - Lights Camera Action

Bun B's new album Trill O.G goes super hard. RIP Pimp C UGK 4 Life.

Whatever's Clever

I feel lost. Not lost in the since I don't know where I am but lost just as a person. I know I have a pretty good life, play poker, have a good job, can travel, but I still feel like something is missing or needs to change. I haven't gone to church in weeks just because I am just confused. I know there is a purpose for my life and some type of after life but isn't life about the journey. It's like playing chess or piecing together a puzzle. You often times think about everything you got to get to the final point and look back and it is amazing.

I just am not happy with myself. I am proud of myself because I have an engineering degree, a good job, and a way to supplement my income in a game I love. But physically, I look at myself in the mirror and just get sick. It's not that I don't like myself as a person I just don't like the way I look. I know it's so cliche and I probably sound like a female but whatever. How the hell am I 25 years old going to be 26 at the end of the year and in the worst shape of my life. I look at pictures of myself I took in Dominican Republic and Costa Rica and just shake my head. I need to put the same effort I put into poker into starting to eat healthier and working out. Broken record I know but I will get there soon. I plan on just building my knowledge and reading and wherever it takes me it takes me.

I have never really ever been the skinny guy always the bigger/fat kid. Do I really care? Well somewhat but I know for me to live as long as possible I need to get it together. Not to mention all the things I am more prone to get just by being black. I always joke and say that someone just had it out for black people and try to exterminate us. I mean it's just ridiculous how black people are more prone to end up in jail, have high blood pressure, have diabetes, or prostate cancer. I know it's not the case but it's pretty gross. My goal is to get down to 200 lbs. I will weigh myself tonight and try to update the blog with some type of progress. The last time I weighed 200 was probably like 8-9th grade which is pretty lol I guess.

Enough about that though poker is good. Been trying to put in more volume since I have had time off for school for the majority of this month. I did a decent job of putting a plan together on how to get the volume I want and breaking down which days I will play. It has helped me so far I just need to stay on schedule. That's my main problem though is my schedule which makes it harder to do the simple things in life. I just recently hired a cleaning lady to clean the house because I got sick of my place looking like trash. People think I am crazy but it is well worth the money and it saves me a lot of time. Now if only I can figure out how to start cooking and lifting I will be the truth.

I will be thinking about what direction I want to take this blog. I think I am going to start doing an occasional video update here and there because sometimes I just don't feel like typing. I mean I am happy I started this blog because it has allowed me to express myself in writing a little more. I mean hey I am an engineer I know numbers.

Lastly, congrats to Alex "msusyr24" Carr for making it on tv during the WSOP ME. The hands they showed were kind of trivial but at least he got some face time. It was also funny because Mike Matusow just blew up and looked like he was not well medicated. Oh well that just shows you that poker is a mental marathon and if you are not right upstairs or just slightly off your play will falter. It's about knowing how to play your A game for the longest period of time determines who wins long term. Try to avoid your B game because if you don't you'll just start slippin to C game all the way to F game. I know it made no sense but to me it did.

Till next time be easy.


Saturday, August 7, 2010

Here's Wil B

Man Hold Up! I am so throwed in the game right now it is ridiculous. I really haven't written in this blog because I have had so much on my freaking mind. I feel like I am unstable and sometimes I have to let the hulk out but it is only after listening to music and drinkin ya dig. Anyways what is going on with my life...

I was in Vegas with KB and went to the WSOP and it was a wonderful time. I got to meet a bunch of TG guys, drink, and degen and that is good. Vegas is crazy with all the shopping, good food, and gambling.

Went to Dominican Republic that shit is tight. I would go back next week. I missed my flight and had to pay $1.3k because I was being ignorant and stupid. It was still worth it and memories will last forever. People are lucky I came back to the US. Big shout out to my boys from back in school and Hans for keepin it trill on the local scene. I played poker and think I got cheated because my spanish isn't great. Could of ran bad too but it is what it is and Dominicans hollywood on every street including the river freaking amateurs.

Can't believe how blessed and fortunate I am. I see people struggling to pay bills and rent and wonder why I am in the position I am. It doesn't make since but one day it will.

Next blog won't be so cryptic but hey it is what it is. See me on them tables.


Friday, June 4, 2010

Jadakiss - Allergic to Losing

May Results

May went fairly well but I am a little disappointed in my volume. I believe I have some excuses for not hitting my 1k games but I still need to finally get to 1k games played. I was honestly surprised I got in 804 games but I know there were times where I could of grinded and just didn't. It's tough though I mean I had a lot of homework to do last month, I traveled to Philly and Tampa in back to back weeks. I just flat out got tired on the days that I didn't grind. I was just so worn out I would just come home lay on the couch and just pass out. I will do a better job in time management so I don't run myself into the ground.

I am really happy with the way I am playing atm. It seems like when things are going well and everything is clicking there is no thinking involved. I mean yes I think about stack sizes, who is shoving, ranges, etc. but my decisions seem to be so cut and dry which is a good thing. I remember when I started 180's and how lost I felt at some of the stages in the tournament due to not being familiar with the blind structure. I am also pretty proud of myself with my improvement in post flop play. Yes I still do retarded things from time to time but it seems like I am getting better with my post flop play and hand reading. I could have accelerated this process by playing a lot of HU SNG but I guess I was a combination of lazy and stubborn. I mean when I grind I want to play my main game and just hard to step out and load some HU SNG's. Even though they take little to no time sigh.

Other than that I am pretty happy with my progress in the push up bet. I am current on Week 2 and about to do my day 3. Technically this is my third week but I repeated week 1 since I struggled towards the end of the week. I hope this is the tipping point to get myself going and working out more. I will post my goals for the month of June after class tonight. Sigh yes class is starting again and I won't get a chance to grind tonight or Saturday. It is what it is I know it is for a good cause.

On a side note though bit shout out to Alex "msusyr24" Carr. Damn why all the good players gotta be named Alex. Anyways he got 22nd in Event 5 $1500 NLHE. I know he is disappointed that he didn't final table and win, because that is what we all play for, but it is a good start to his series. I know he is going to follow it up with more results in the future. That is one thing I def need to figure out is when I am going to visit Vegas for my weekend trip during the series. I am a little disappointed because I said that I would play in the series this year but tbh I just don't have the paid time off to do it. Oh well next year. Below are my results and till next time be easy and good luck on the felt. Oh yeah one more last thing that Drake Thank Me Later is fire if you don't have it go get it. I don't pay for music normally and probably will purchase this album.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Late Night

Probably going to be a super late night because I need to clean up the crib. I have been traveling so much and neglected the apartment for too long. I have often times thought about getting a cleaning service or maid to come help 1x a week but I think that is waaaay to frivolous and I just need to start making time for cleaning.

I am doing alright with my push ups. I restarted the week one workout and day 2 went a lot smoother. I am really starting to focus on my breathing when I am doing them to help keep me in a rhythm. I just found myself not breathing at all when I was doing them before which is pretty bad. Now I am trying to breath in when I go down and breath out as I push back up.

I grinded today and did fairly well. Seems like my game is alright but I know I was running way hot. Some of the beats I was putting on people were lol but hey that's variance. Anyways gotta make some progress on cleaning or it will never get done.


Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Wipe Out

I can't grind @ all today. I am just so tired from traveling and doing massive school work. But, the school work was definitely my fault. I should of done it a lot earlier to prevent myself from having a huge headache. Sigh duck. It's the life I choose though. I think I could easily say f it and just spend the time I do homework doing other stuff but I can't. For some reason, I really want this masters. I have this goal set inside of my head and I will make it.

I purged my bank account a little and now I am on the right path to saving. I had to go to Tampa Bay for a wedding and waited to the absolute minute to buy a ticket. I had to do this because I am terrible at juggling my time off @ work so I really didn't know how much time paid off that I had. I ended up leaving at 10pm on Friday and getting to Tampa at 9:30am. From there, I had to drive about an hour to get to the wedding. I grabbed something to eat, passed out for a couple of hours, then got ready for the wedding. Tbh I was really scared that I was going miss the wedding when I went to sleep. I was so ridiculously tired.

The wedding was a really nice and it was really good to see how happy the two together. Anyways, I was able to see a lot of friends from college and get ridiculously drunk. All you can drink patron is money and I can't turn that down. The wedding started at 3 pm and I didn't stop partying till about 3 am. I proceeded to pass out and then sleep for the majority on Sunday. My flight left at 5pm and I got back in Seattle at 11pm. I went to sleep and ended up going back to work at 6 am. I know sick life I live :-s.

I also got a chance to rent an Infiniti G37 when I was in Tampa. That was a bad idea because now I got a little taste of a luxury car. I know I won't be getting a car for at least another five years but I am gonna be doing some research until then. I felt like a total boss in it and it was ridiculously quick. Oh well if I want the finer things in life I better start busting my ass and saving now.

As far as poker is concerned I got a chance to put some volume in on Monday. I had a nice little upswing but I was happier with the way that I played. I really felt like I was in the groove and not rusty at all so that was good. I was way too tired for anything today so I just coached my buddy and watched the USA lose to the Czech Republic in a soccer friendly. I will try not to worry about the result but it definitely sucks to lose.

I am actually proud of myself because I got myself into the stock market game. I got a 401k and a savings but decided to start doing a little buying in the market. Everything I am looking at will be strictly longterm and I don't plan on touching the money. At least I have some type of plan for something for once.

Lastly, I know TLDR probably didn't make it this far, I started up with a push up bet with reasons and yodaddy. We have to be able to do 75 consecutive push ups. For every push up you fall short you owe $25. Since I am betting two people it's gonna turn into $50. I started the program and struggled through week 1. I am going through week 1 again since I struggled and hope to go through the six week program. I am also contemplating running home from work. I work about 4.2 miles away from where I live so I think this can be feasible. The only downside is that I have to figure out how I am going to get to work. Maybe wbmustang will take the bus to work. Idk but gotta figure it out.

Oh yea and congrats to Assassinato and reasons14. Assassinato won $48k in the $1k Monday and he really deserves it. He puts in the hours and works his ass off. Also not to mention how many times he has gotten so close. I hope this score is just an appetizer for his filet mignon score that's gonna happen later. Reasons14 took down the $109 Turbo for a nice little score. I would say you would hear from him but he is too much of an underground poker mogul to put in any type of volume :-p. Anyways till next time.


Monday, May 10, 2010

Life/Poker Update

Life is getting a little bit better. Even though I made some bad decisions I am dealing with it and moving forward. Sometimes I wish there was a save and restore point in life. You know how it is when you play video games. Sometimes you mess up and want to do it right the next time so you just load up from your last restore point. Unfortunately, life is not a video game and you just have to deal with what happens. Accepting consequences and then moving on and learning is all about growing better as a person.

I grinded for a good amount this weekend. I am not too happy with how I played Sunday. Even though I have a winning session I just wasn't verry happy with my play. I felt that I made way too many bad decisions which resulting in more gambly plays. I ended up on in the black for the day, awww yes black is beautiful, but I wasn't thrilled with how sloppy I played. I will be making some minor adjustments but more some of me being aware of my image. Oh well it's only one session when this happened but I am disappointed because I strive to play quality volume.

I wish I could put my finger on what was making me play so sloppy. @ first it was due to the fact that the internet was cutting in and out and was just being annoying. Then, there were times were I could feel my temper rise a little bit. For the most part I relaxed, but I got caught slipping a couple of times. Lol it's so weird to even explain but it's that feeling you get when you are just pissed and burning up on the inside and you are about to do something crazy. I don't even know why I felt that way, maybe because I lost like three all ins in a row when I was the favorite. I need to be emotionless and just not care as much.

I look forward to grinding for the rest of the week. I have to leave town on Saturday and go to my cousins graduation in Philly.


Tuesday, May 4, 2010

April Results

As I said I would post my April results in a different post. As you can see I ran well with some extremely low volume. Obv looking at stuff gives me motivation so I can put some volume in. I played around 50 games last night and that went fairly well. I just need to make sure that I keep trying to play the best of my abilities. Quality >> Quantity! In my masters class I have been hearing that more and more and it applies to everything in life.

Doing better in some aspects in terms of procrastination etc on some things. I am not where I need to do but definitely taking some strides. My goal is to play 1k games this month. My class is almost over and I will have some of my weekends back for three weeks. The only thing I am concerned about is having to take a trip to Philly for my cousins graduation and a wedding in FL later on that week. Other than that it is full steam ahead.

Big congratulations to vertek for the month he posted last month. He is about to go into it full time and I give him props because he definitely has more balls than me. Unfortunately I have to finish school before I make any moves. I know I may be restricting myself because who knows how long poker will be here but getting my masters is one of my goals. Neither my mom or dad have one and I want to have a leg up on them weeeeeeee.

I have kept this same janky design for my site for some time and will looking to switch it up soon. So be on the look out.

Monday, May 3, 2010

Yo son where you been @?

Man, whenever I get into some personal bullshit I promise I never know how to deal with this. April was a fairly crazy month. It started off well when I went to Toronto for a business trip. I had a really good time meeting vers, cardlo, and Shen888. Toronto is a really cool and diverse place and would love to go back. Hell I wouldn't mind living there but I know the winters are pretty cold. I mean I probably could deal with them being from Denver though. But obviouslly my trip wasn't flawless because drama had to ensue.

I won't go into many details about but I basically just got caught up in some T Woods type bullshit. I always knew it would happen at some point in time but just kept pushing the envelope. I guess it's a part of the reason why I am a poker player. I just make gambles. I have made so many gambles in my life where it is just not necessary. A lot of the gambles that I made could of really messed up my life and prevent me to be in the situation that I am in today. I guess it's a part of getting older and becoming more mature but damn I am 25 years old. It's sad when you are 25 and you feel like you haven't really matured since you were 18. To those who I have affected I want to appologize. I am not perfect and make mistakes but it's never fun to play with peoples feelings.

When everything first happend I just didn't know what to deal with it. I am a terrible communicator and usually when shit goes down I feel like holding everything back and keeping to myself. I hate to admit it but being an online poker player has introverted me. I mean I am fairly sociable but now it gets to the point I feel more comfortable talking to people on im/skype than in person. It's kind of sad but it is what it is.

When I first got out to Seattle I really didn't know many people. I mean I had some friends out here that I knew before but for the most part I just chilled by myself. Meeting people and starting a new network is always a problem when you move to a new city That is when I took it upon myself to take poker more seriously. My first initial year was a lot better than last year but hey it is what it is. The games got tougher and I really wasn't advancing my play. Now I feel a lot more comfortable with my game. I still feel like I have some ways to go. I am always willing to learn because the second you think that you know everything you close of what you can learn. Being close minded will definitely be the downfall for a lot of people. In poker you just can't be. There is no one optimal style or one pure way to play a hand. My poker journey has showed me that people can have such different playing styles and still just crush the games.

I decided to limit my volume this past month. I thought it was the professional thing to do. I just had so much going on and didn't know how to deal with it. Those are the times when you are supposed to get on your knees and pray to God about the situation. For some reason, I just feel like I didn't need to. I don't know why though because it is so stupid. You never know what types of signs or answers God will give you. I feel like I am so ungrateful sometimes. God has blessed me in so many ways in my life but I refuse to do something simple and saying thank you every once in a while. I will do better with this. I know if the roles were reversed I would think that I am an ungrateful bastard. But hey he still wakes me up the next morning giving me to opportunity to make things right. I know God is definitely not through with me and I have a long ways to go. Side note I am not trying to force my views on anyone and what I feel is how I feel. I never want to force my views on people and I can't stand it when people try.

Anyways I just didn't feel like talking to anyone about the situation. I mean don't get me wrong I talked to some people but I hate just talking about my problems with people. Maybe that is a fault of mine but I hate bringing down peoples moods with my own problems. This is the reason why I decide to hold things in and deal with it myself. I don't like to complain and moan I just take it and try to keep going. Maybe one day I will change my way of dealing with tough problems but that is just me. I rather just lock myself in seclusion and think about it or just try not to. Oh well I guess that's part of becoming more mature is knowing how to deal with situations.

I played about 600 sngs and watched some videos on pokerpwnage. I really like the content they have on there and feel like with some tweaks they could be a very good site. They have a lot of sick players on there and I have learned a lot I feel. I just need to watch more movies and actually trying things and put what I have learned into practice. Anyways that's all for now I will post pics of my graphs but in a separate post so this post won't turn into TLDR but hell who reads this anyways.

Hopefully this blog allows me to open up and actually write deal with my problems instead of holding them and get infuriated/down on myself. That is why I give other bloggers like msusyr24 and assassinato so much credit. It's so hard to just talk about your problems and put your business out in public. I am coming around to the point where I can slowly. I mean don't get it twisted I will have to leave somethings out but for the most part trying to not turn this inot a monotonous regular poker blog.


Saturday, March 27, 2010

CR Photos

Here are some of the pictures that I took from Costa Rica. Man looking through all these pics I didn't know which ones to put up because they were all pretty good. Looking at the pics made me realize how fortunate I am to be able to take trips like this. People struggle to pay bills month to month and I am doing this. Also another thanks to Assassinato and co because they held it down big time.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

John F'n Carter

As promised I said that I would give my boy JC some plug and put his video up. He has gotten better editing his videos and his dancing is actually improving. The last part of the video is pretty good. On to the next one!

Stay On My Grizzly

This month has gone fairly well so far. It is going to be tough but I think I will be able to squeeze in 1k games for the month. When you play just 180's, your volume definitely declines a little bit due to the load times when I play. I have been incorporating the $12 45's back into my game. I think I have Ninja set up to run up to like 6 of them. I think playing them will increase my volume because I am not waiting as long for the 180's to load.

When I played the 45's I forgot how much I loved them back in the day. I think I am better playing them now especially after getting more comfortable with the 180's. I am sure that I have some things to touch up on but the more I play/review the more I will be able to adjust.

Anyways that's all I have for now. I am scheduled to go on a business trip to Toronto Canada next week so I am not sure how much I will be playing at the beginning of April. Hopefully I will be able to meet up with vers, shen, or cardlo will see what happens.


Thursday, March 18, 2010

C'mon Son 11

These joints always have me rollin!

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

$20k Mark Too Little Too Late

Well this would of been nice when I was in the prop bet where I lost $500. I have finally reached the $20k mark months later. So many freaking ups and down. It seems like every time I eye some top of money milestone I just blow up and play/run bad. Oh well I learned a lot this time. Hopefully this is the start of things going to the right direction. I don't have anymore milestones until I hit $50k. That's the type of long term vision I have because that is a grind.

Playa Flamingo, Costa Rica

I wake up out of bed yawn and stretch my arms. I get up wipe my eyes walk around 10ft and open the door outside. It is the waves crashing into the beach. The sun is just barely up and it perfectly reflects against the ocean water. I look to my left and right and see mountains in the background. On my bottom left I see a natural beach with rocks. I set take a deep breath of the air close my eyes and realize I am in paradise. To some it is a dream but for me it is a reality.

I was fortunate enough to finally go visit assassinato. Words cannot explain how thankful I am for the trip. It was a perfect relaxing trip and it was much needed. I mean some people probably expect a wild trip report but it wasn't even all like that. I pretty much and just chilled out all day every day. Yeah I walked around the beach and the beach towns but I was chilling super hard. I went out there with my boy O so we had a good time. The maid/cook named Anna made us some great meals too. She would always ask what we want to eat what type of juice and everything. The meals were incredible. Especially with the fresh squeezed fruit juice it felt like I was eating the fruit when drinking the juice. I was truly spoiled though and hated the fact that I have to go back and cook/clean myself :-(.

I got my grind on a little but for the most part this was a learning experience. I was able to watch Raventhon and Bukithepro play some. Buki is a real good guy. An older cat and he schooled up on some things. He has been playing for a little bit and his thought processes going through each hand is amazing. Raventhon is also crazy good with knowing that math behind a lot of situations. He is also good at knowing who is doing what with what stacks. As for Assassinato he is a straight up I don't give a shit beast on the tables. Watching him run deep in his score I was thinking damn I would break my mouse playing against you. He has incredible heart and excellent feel about what he is going on. He def is not afraid to gamble at all. xnumchuck plays some sng's and mtt's too. He was going deep in one of the stars rebuy tournies before flaming out. This crew is dangerous and you should hear about these guys soon. I was really impressed and saw that I have a long ways to go in my MTT game.

It was especially fun to watch assassinato go deep in 750k on Tilt and finish up 3rd for like $50k ish. I mean you see the stuff behind your computer but you never see the person behind the computer. The whole atmosphere was weird because it had every feel imaginable. He was playing viro the virus and just in the zone ready to kill. He wanted first so bad but it wasn't meant to be. I mean 3rd is cool but I know him and he wants to win. I know he thinks like Ricky Bobby if you not first your last but he will take the cheese.

I played about 15 MTT's on Sunday. I lost money but boy was it a fun and learning time. I would of gone deeper in the 22 cubed if my AJs does chop for an enormous pot against AT aipf. I was around 9th that time and around 100 people I think. Oh well that's tournament poker though. I definitely was lost in some spots but it's just like sngs I was unfamiliar with the spots. So for now my plan is to grind mtt's during the week and play mtt's on Sunday. The more comfortable I get the more I might be inclined to play mtt's more.

I will post some pics later but for now this is it.

Feb Results

As you can tell my month of Feb was pretty terrible which is why I wrote the below post. Granted school was picking up, I really didn't play much and when I was playing towards the end of the month I wasn't playing my best. From reading so many other players blogs you have to know that you know only have to play volume but it actually has to be good volume. I guess I get a little help due to the fact that I got a 1k live score so my results aren't so bad. But meh here they are.

Total: $927+1,000=$1927

Friday, February 26, 2010

Noticing A Trend

Disclaimer: Long post

This post is probably as real as I am going to get with myself and it is from the heart. I have started to notice a bad trend in my life. The trend that I have noticed is that I continually get outworked by people. Why is this you ask? I don't know but I had a lot of time to think about why I am the way I am. To be honest the reason why I think I don't work as hard as I can is because I take too much shit for granted.

I grew up in a family atmosphere where I never really had to struggle. I mean I don't want to sound all uppity/spoiled but I didn't have to work for much. I mean yes I was required by my parents to get good grades etc but never really had to struggle for what I got. Even in college I feel I got outworked. I mean don't get me wrong, I got ok grades got a decent job and graduated, but sometimes I wonder what would of happened if I pushed myself more. Maybe I am just a lifetime lazy achievement award.

Thinking about other players who have taken off and me in the same position you have to wonder. Did they have resources you don't have? This is clearly not the case. I have been on SngMentors had good coaching etc. But tbh the answer is within me. I have to man up and say that I have been outworked to be honest. People have put in more volume and more hours in. This is why I am in the same poisition.

I am tired of going through my life seeing people advance and do things better than me. I mean I have always been competitive but sometimes it seems like I lack that fire I guess. But with poker, I have the fire but it's like I am not working to get there. I mean don't get me wrong I feel like I have learned a lot and come a long ways from where I started but I can be doing expotentially better. I am not putting my 100% heart into the game. I need to start doing this. I am trying to change my life around. I am tired of being lazy and left behind. Some may say that I have a good head start but damn it I want more. I am not greedy I just expect more out of myself.

This is the reason why I decided to change my avatar on PokerStars to Wayne Rooney. He is someone that is never outworked on the pitch. This year he is the best striker in the world, yes it is an argument to have but I am biased Man United fan. He has speed, power, grit, determination, and heart. These are the qualities that I need to exhibit on the virtual felt. Speed in making good and clear decisions while multi tabling, girt and determination to grind when running shitty, and the heart to never feel like I am out of a tournament. Even when I have t1 chip left I need to fight like there is no tomorrow.

I have spent a long time lying to myself saying that I am going to do this that and the other. I need to take the slogan from Nike and just do it. I don't want to live the rest of my life thinking about would could of been. I need to start thinking about what will be. One of the funniest but real quotes is from Mighty Ducks when the coach looks Gordon Bombay dead in the face and says "Your not even a has been you were a never was." I don't want to be a never was.

So I am putting 100% in taking over my life and making positive changes. The clock is ticking and time is not slowing down for anyone. I remember like it was yesterday when I was in Middle School, High School, and College. I can really say that there was maybe one semester where I put everything I had into school and treated it professionally. You know what happened, I got a 3.8 that semester.

People always tell me that I will be succesful and amount to something. Although I take it in stride sometimes I get nervous. I need to stop getting nervous and acting on what people see in me. I need to act on what I see in myself. Watching the 25k NAPT high roller event and reading up on Faraz Jaka has also kind of motivated. Hearing vertek tell me that he put in more hours than me lit a fire under me. Reading Rainman aka MI_Turtle aka Nick Rainey's blog about how hard he works and people say you won't do x,y, and z and trying to prove them wrong motivates me. It's time for me to stop looking for other sources of motivation and motivate myself. Motivate myself by trying correction meeting my goals. I don't know why I was always the typle of person that needed a kick in my ass to get things going.

I need to put this plan into full force not just on the felt but in life in general. I need to do better at work and making an impact to. Bottom line I need to do better and know I can do better. I have some homework and stuff to do but after that it's no more bullshit. I will be sitting down today and making my schedule. The last time I tried to do this I got scared just looking at it and I didn't even start my schedule.

Lastly I would like to say that I owe vertek $100 for the psychological coaching lol. Here is a good video he recommended to me. It is short and a very good video. I probably should watch it every morning I wake up.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Busy Busy Busy

I have been so freaking busy lately. I have had to deal with homework, attending class, and doing a final. My volume this month has been laughable. I feel like I am playing good but just running like dog shit on fire in some spots. If you win in key spots your results will be a lot better.

I have to figure out how to stay on top of things. I keep saying that I am going to make a schedule. I get nervous when I see how much stuff I am trying to pack into a day. I am so not a morning person and the only way that I can make it work is if I get to work at 5 am. That gives me the best chance in putting in good volume. I will figure it out some day. My biggest fear is not living up to the hype. So many people in my life have seen good things about me and said I will go places but I feel like I am letting myself and them down. I dunno maybe it is apart of me growing up. I look at see that I am 26 years old but still growing up. The irony of things.

I just have to make things work. I am sick of seeing people who I started with or after me just crushing. Although I have a full time job, I still don't find that as a viable excuse. I mean if I am going to do it then I have to do it right. Somehow it has to come from within. I am getting tired of saying I am going to do x,y, and z and still don't do it. How can anyone trust what I am saying if I am lying to myself all the time. It's something I battle with and need to figure out. I set aggressive goals for this month and probably will not meet all of them. Maybe one day I will look at the goals that I set or things I said I do and be proud about it. One of these days I am going to read my old posts and see how much hot air I am full of. It's disturbing and I am tired of it.

Maybe some of this has to do the fact that I do have ADD and actually getting help. It's so hard for me to start and finish something completely. Like most of the times I will finish something but it feels like it is a long journey of bs to get there. Talking to someone is definitely helping I just need to find a way to control it. I mean sometimes I think I am lazy and sometimes I just feel like I can't control what I am going to do next. I can set my mind on doing something and 15 minutes later it feels like I am not doing what I am supposed to do. Oh well hopefully I can figure everything out.

Getting real excited for my trip to Costa Rica coming up. Not only will I get a chance to kick it with O, Raventhon, Assassinato, and others but I will be grinding and kickin it. I hope this trip doesn't spoil me too much. Definitely looking forward to learning a lot. On a side note as of now I am done with the $36/180's. I am so not properly rolled for them right now and my results are bad. Although it is a small sample size, they don't seem to load enough to even get a good sample size in. Other than that life is good.

I really can't complain though because crazy things happen and you realize how fortunate you are. Just yesterday my old middle school got shot up. Crazy how when I was in high school Columbine went down and years later Deer Creek Middle School gets shot up. Apparently some teachers tackeld the shooter which is good because it could of been a real bad situation. I just don't get what is running through peoples minds.

On a side note congrats to vertek to getting on the SharkScope leaderboard. It's gonna be tough to hold that spot but I know you can.

Friday, February 12, 2010

Chopped Live Tourney For 1k

Well, yesterday I was convinced by my boy Diga81 to play some live poker. He always is clowning me because I am lazy and would rather play @ home on my computer. Either way I begrudgingly went to the Muckleshoot Casino to play a $60+5 tournament. I was feeling good and confident about my game and knew I could own these live donks. Either way 4 hrs later I chopped for like $1150. Not a bad score for 4 hrs of work. I knew I was going to win or @ least get to the final table when I got it all in KK vs KK vs QQ and I won. Of course the black kings won because black kings are better. Not really but I said it and it happened lol. Other than that it was pretty uneventful. What did perplex me is how bad players are. People have like 120k @ 10k/20k blind level limping. I was just laughing and I didn't understand how to combat it. I mean I was at the final table some ICM gets involved and people will limp call with Ax so meh. The only spot maybe I could of shove blinds were at 10k/20k three people limp I have KTs with like 200k and I was real tempted to shove. I got pussified and folded but oh well I thought I could pick a better spot since the players were so random.

Other than that, I really didn't have any interesting hands and everything was pretty standard. That and I really suck about remember hands and how they went down a day later. It's werid when I am in the zone and playing I remember stuff but later on the next day I don't. I guess I should start taking notes but oh well. Not 100% sure if I am going to play online today because I have to get my hair cut and run some errands. I am kind of mad about it because February is a short month and I need to get as much volume as possible.

On the online front, my last coaching session went good but clearly I am missing some spots. These little spots add up over time. My coach tells me not to get too down on myself since I have a day job my game won't progress as fast as someone that has no job and that is their sole source of income. Although I believe this to an extent, I still know better and need to do better recognizing these spots. The hard part is keeping a level head. I mean I know I am getting better and winning money but I am still making some mistakes. I won't be happy until I feel like I get my game more consistent and not making mistakes. Hopefully I won't be making mistakes by the end of Februaury.


Sunday, February 7, 2010

Eating Crow

I am eating crow big time right now. I predicted that the Colts would win the Super Bowl and boy was I wrong. Peyton Manning is a great quarterback but kind of a choke artist. I mean his receivers dropped some balls but he didn't come out and do anything spectacular. Add that to the fact that he threw a pick 6 when the Colts were driving to score which totally changed the game.

I have to give a big congratulations to New Orleans because they played their hearts out and won it for the city. I know a lot of my family in Louisiana is going to be pretty happy about the win. On another note, I think Sean Payton has to play poker because he is a gambler with balls of steel. His first gamble, going for it on 4th and goal, didn't pan out and the Saints turned the ball over on downs. But, he stuck to the script. This man comes out in the second half and does an onside kick and makes it work. WTF? I texted my boy hotbizzle saying that he probably used a shove chart for that play. Then later in the game he went for two to put the Saints up 7 points. The refs ruled that it was an incomplete pass but Sean Payton challenges the call and it gets overturned. Such a sick game and a great Super Bowl. Other than that I thought that most of the commercials were pretty booty.

Sigh America and Life

Last night I had a good time with my buddy Scotty B. We ended up going to the UW vs ASU game. ASU got waxed and Scott wasn't too happy about that because he went to ASU. Oh well maybe next time. But after the game things get interesting. We ended up going out downtown and having a pretty good time. After leaving the bars we decide to cut out early and get a hot dog off the streets in Bell Town. Boom we book it over there we are kinda drunk and this chick walks up. Scott and I are talking about how he hasn't had a hot dog from out there for a while and I said I never had one. Then this chick blurts out you never had one where are you from. I said Renton. She then proceeds to try to make a joke oh Renton, Africa. Hold on C'mon son gtfo here with that bullshit. She proceeds to say ohh it was just a joke are you going to take it offensive. Now everyone around me looks more pissed off about it than I am. Eventually some cool guy say BITCH YOU NEED TO CLOSE YOUR FUCKING MOUTH. It was so funny she was like geesh I will go across the street to get a hot dog. Bitch you know there is not a city in Africa named Renton why say some dumb shit like that. Imo I just felt kind of slapped in the face. I mean it's sad that she has that point of view and it's 2010. The thing about it is that I don't even like mad about racist jokes. Hell I make a lot of them too but that's with people I really know ya know. It's always funny to crack on stereotypes but imo hers was just garbage/insulting. Anyways, she gets the fail off the night award.

This class I am taking these semester is going to be more time demanding than my last so my volume might suffer. I really hope not but this is where I find out how to be a rockstar and get my balance in life together. In order to get any type of volume in I must stick to a schedule. I won't be playing today because it is Super Bowl Sunday so meh. I am not even a Colts fan or even a Peyton Manning fan for that matter but I think they will win. Manning is waaaay to good and if he did work against the Jets D which was #1 in the NFL I dunno what he is going to do to New Orleans. But, if New Orleans wins it definitely be good for the city especially post Katrina.

On another note I will be doing a simple math equation. Arsenal + Big Games = Fail. Great job on NOT being Chel$ea. When is the excuse of oh we have a young team going to not be accepted for Arsenal. I mean you guys have been saying the same thing for years Arsenal fans yet you keep failing. Oh well at least Man United won on Saturday 5-0 to keep pressure on Hull City.

I actually went to the gym on Friday so semi proud of myself. Now I need to find a day to go next week, hell maybe I might go for the gusto and go twice. Anywho I can't wait to get back on the tables on Monday.

Till next time


Friday, February 5, 2010

Weekend Plans

Well, this weekend officially is going to kind of sucked. I am on a little life tilt because as soon as I feel like I am playing good something comes up. It's like right now when I am playing I am just in a flow and in the zone. Unfortunately, I couldn't play yesterday because I had a docs appt. Friday I have work and then going to class. Saturday, I have class and then going to the UW vs. ASU basketball game. Sunday, I will be watching the Superbowl and probably too drunk to play when it is over. Plus, the traffic on PokerStars is going to be terrible for American players. Hmm, I wonder how the drunk fish will be after the Superbowl. Anyways I am playing good and can't wait to play again.

Vertek, grrrr, you always have to outdo me. I started off strong and you just raped in your first 55 games. Hopefully Man United can play good this weekend and Chel$ea lose to Arsenal :-).


Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Wayne Rooney

Man I thought I was done blogging for the day until I went to Anyways it was an article about Wayne Rooney and his season so far. He has been an absolute beast and has 22 goals in all competitions so far. This is what Wayne has to say about hard work. I am tired of being lazy and not even coming close to meeting my goals. I need to stop saying stuff and DOING it. I feel like I have typed this over and over and over. When will I change geesh. I guess people in the UK spell realize different lol.

"Sometimes people don’t realise how hard it is to practice every day. It’s hard to constantly put the work in to improve your game. But if you want to get the rewards from it, you have to do it. The best players always practice to get better. That’s what I’ve done since as far back as I can remember. I've played football every day for most of my life. It’s something I really enjoy doing."

Wayne Rooney

Just in case you don't know who he is I will post a video below. He scores some sick goals and works his socks off during games. Rooney Rooney Rooney!

January Results and Rambling

January was a very interesting month. I feel like I am learning a lot from the coaching and doing better with push shove and icm but the results don't show it. I mean I know that I am playing my A game but clearly I don't make up with this in volume. I had to humble myself and just play the $12's and only play 12 tables. I thought that I was able to get good reads and play to the best of my abilities. The only bad thing is that my volume was so low from just doing that. The results are below. I mean they are pretty meh but thanks to my horse stepping up and putting in some volume my month looks a lot better.

Besides that, when talking to my coach he really expressed shot taking. We did the math and it was astronomical the number of $12 you get when you when a $36. I mean really, I am in a perfect opportunity to shot take. I don't depend on this money from month to month to live so why wouldn't I shot take. I need to break out of my nitty shell and play higher. I think I can easily bum hunt the $2's but I just don't want to. I want to be a good winning player in the $12's and higher. I mean how good you think Jordan, Lebron, Tiger, Phil Ivey, or Melo would be if they just played scrubs all day they would of never elevated their games and got better. That's just something I am thinking about and hope to execute it this month.

I normally hate February but slowly I am trying to shake this off. I really want to make a lot of positive life changes this month. I mean there are so many things that I think I need to do better about and I will be putting those into goals. Plus, I saw a recent picture and was disgusted and how fat I am starting to look so something has to give. I probably am going to have to pull the trigger and pay $400 for the chef to make me dinners and lunches and I think it will help me stop spewing money and fast food joints. I just have so much going through my head and suck and expresses myself ugh. Anyways here are the goals for the month.

Feb Goals
1. 1k SNG's
2. GET MY FAT ASS TO THE GYM AT LEAST 1x per week. I would prefer to do 3 but f me lets get the ball rolling.
3. Stop eating out so much.
4. Say something and keep my word. No I am not a shady person but I say stuff and don't always do it on the day I say I will. Pretty much working on being more prompt with shit.
5. Waking up on time and keeping to my schedule. I saw Msusyr24's schedule in excel and it was very visual. Maybe I need to make something like that to make sure I stay on track.
6. Keep accurate records. I think I need to do a better job of tracking my expenses, horses action etc, but just need to be more organized.

I plan on posting my schedule and goals all over my apartment. I am hoping that by seeing this stuff everywhere I will actually get my ass in gear. I am just very frustrated with myself as a person right now and know I need to make changes.

On a side note I did donate $100 to the HaitiFund on Pokerstars. It was matched and stars said they donated a little more thant $1.4 million which is a lot. Classes start agaain this week and with a short month I can't be fooling around. I guess when I feel like I can express myself better I will right more but to now that's it. I mean I have always been a very private person holding everything in so meh baby steps.


Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Time Off Was Needed

The trip to Cincinnati was real good. I got to see people that I care about and it was just an all around good time. During my vacation, I played absolutely 0 poker. It was a much needed break because things were not going my way before the mini vacation. After being soul crushed that I lost the prop bet, I proceeded to go to the outlets and buy some clothes. Msusyr24 and I talked about stopping the frivolous spending but I felt terrible that day and wanted to look fresh later on that night. It felt good getting some new threads especially to look fresh to death later on in the evening. Now I have purged myself I will working on the frivolous spending. Of course Msusyr24 bought the sickest watch I have seen, he said he forgot about the convo and was setting a bad example lol.

The same day, I was able to have an im conversation with TheLipoFund. This is rare because this fool is always playing hella tables. He has some of the biggest swings of anyone I know and I asked him point blank how he deals with them. He gave me an honest reply of by not caring anymore. This is the mentality that I definitely need to have. I was getting so caught up in the emotions of the game that I think I was putting too much pressure on myself to succeed. I mean I have a full time job I do not depend on this income at all. I am thankful that Lipo talked some sense into me.

Last night I grinded and had a good +1k day. Those days always feel great especially when things are not going well for you initially. I was getting killed earlier in the session and even lost a hand KK vs KK vs 95 sigh. After that happened, I just closed my eyes, took a couple of deep breaths, focused my consciousness on the present and making good decisions. I also looked at some positive thinking quotes during one of my breaks to make sure my head stayed in the game. Definitely proud of the way I mentally handled the session. I also was able to rail vertek to a win in a 180. He was so short and out of nowhere start pwning and won it. I was joking and saying that if he won I would cut my comp off because he really came from such a short stack. Good thing I didn't because I was still going strong in my tournaments. Will be putting in more volume today because it will be a joke if I don't hit 1k games played this month.

I am also posted this Michael Jackson video of him doing the robot. Man MJ was so talented and he was killing the game with this. I am sure Daleroxxu will appreciate it C'mon Son GTFO here wit dat bullshit!

Saturday, January 23, 2010


Congrats to vertek for winning the prop bet. To be honest I am a sore fucking loser and pretty pissed. How I was so close to 20k then pokerstars shits on me like America does to black people. J/k obv but not happy about this @ all. I guess it is me just being competitive. Honestly I feel like crying but it's whatever it is what it is. I was flying to Cinci last night just thinking about my life and how it is just filled with unfulfilled promises or goals met. I promise the only goal in my life that I have accomplished is getting a freaking job and college degree. Let's go throught my list of goals I wanted to have for my life.

1. Become an astronaut - Failed but at least I got an internship @ NASA
2. Become a pilot - Failed but at least I am working on airplanes now
3. Be a successful poker player - Failing at that
4. Eat better and lose weight - Failing but I still have time
5. Stop frivolous spending - Failing I make it rain more than Lil Wayne

Sums up my life I guess. But whatever at least I will make this post motivational so I NEVER lose another prop again.


Wednesday, January 20, 2010


It seems like I am the biggest biatch of online poker just whining all the time it will change soon. Yesterday I played a session of only $12/180's and I got absolutely raped. I lost around -$600 and was kind of tilted while playing my last one table. I know I didn't play it my best but I came in 4th. I rarely do tilt but with how I was running I just couldn't take it I guess. I missed a couple of spots that were bad and now I am really focused on not letting me affect me. Maybe the fact that it was my last table and I was one tabling and just wanted to finish. I will go over the majority of my tournaments I played and see what happened. I can't control how bad I run but I can control how hard I work. Sadly I might have to make a deposit I am not busto but I like to have a comfortable roll to play with online.

Also, just read msusyr24's blog and he was talking about misclicks. I tend to misclick too especially when I get too caught up in the little stuff. I am going to do everything possible to keep these down because I am sure they are causing me to lose money. I am really thinking about starting to read up on the Tommy Angelo breathing exercises and start using those.

Oh well that's all I got for now. Don't get it twisted got confidence in my game just gotta work things out. I am happy I am documenting all of this because when I start shitting online I am gonna be like wow look where I came from. Sorry if you think I complain all the time I am just telling you what's going on.


Sunday, January 17, 2010


I am pretty disappointed in myself after my last coaching sessions. We went through a hand history where I won in a $12/180 and my play was pretty bad. I have no idea why I am missing spots I should be easily catching. It has to be that I am not focusing enough or I am playing too many tables. I am moving down to like 12-14 tables. I feel like I have done this in the past and it helped. At the same time I guess it is a blow to my ego to know that I have to step down in tables. It will be worth it so I stop making mistakes. I mean the ones I am making have to be part of the reason for some of my results. Either way that's the plan. Probably will review some hh's, watch football, and clean the apartment today. GL to everyone on the tables.


Thursday, January 14, 2010

Figured Something Out

I know one of my main problems I have when I am playing. I think I try to click to fast instead of thinking about situations. I remember when PDice use to coach me and tell me to wait till the warning beeps and then act. Well, I feel out of that and now sometimes I feel like I am clicking way too fast. Maybe it is me playing too many tables but I can handle the tables I just rush too much. Now, I have been pausing like 3 seconds before clicking or doing anything. Hopefully this will help.

I feel like I am finally getting some traction going this month. I probably should review more of my games to make sure I am not missing spots. I feel all around better and hopefully can turn the corner this month. I have also thought about donating a % of my poker winnings or organizing a tournament for the people in Haiti. Haiti was already one of the poorest countries and this earthquake didn't help @ all.

In other things, I am really contemplating getting a personal chef. This personal will make me meals in advance and make it easier for me to heat up. I would get a bunch of microwaveable stuff like Lean Cuisine but that stuff is nasty. Hopefully this will allow me to eat healthier and not trick off my money every single day. I just feel like I don't have enough time in the day to cook for myself. I practically always have to play right after work or the games will die. Thanks a like Pacific Standard time!


Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Clipse Feeling Good

I don't know why but I am vibin to this song right now.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Keep The Day Job

The second that I think that I want to play full time for my job I am happily reminded why I have a day job. Also, it makes me respect the players that do it for their sole source of income that much more. I can't even begin to explain how I feel. I had a coaching session last night with my new coach and it went well. Gave me a chance to grasp new concepts and think about things in a different light. For the most part, I am playing good but missing spots here or there. The spots I am missing are not terrible but each mistake could mean more chips gained. We also talked a little about the variance in the games.

1000 game break even stretches are not even unfathomable just a part of the game. I just need to keep plugging volume. Geez that sentence gets old but it's the only way you will make money in this game. When I bored I also look at other top players and the variance they deal with. I guess it is just mind boggling to know that even though you are +ev you are going to have stretches like this. If anything I am just freaking crushed. I was so close to finishing off the prop bet with 20k and the doom switch hit. It's so annoying, everything I get close to some milestone everything hits the shitter ugh.

Today I have a doctors appointment so that will be interesting. I have long thought that I have some type of sleeping disorder/ADD so I will see what's going on. It's pretty hard for me to stay focus on stuff and my mind just wonders. Even when playing sessions or at work my mind tends to wonder when I am doing different things. This is probably the reason why I am writing this post now lol. Either way good luck to everyone on the tables. Will try to update from now on 2x per week.

Monday, January 4, 2010

In Seattle Can't Sleep

I am in Seattle I and I can't really sleep so I thought I would do something productive and blog. Honestly, I was supposed to clean up the appartment but I have been getting sidetrack. All I can think about is poker, grinding, being successful, and having my own life. Yeah I love my job and everything but I just want to be independent. All I can think about is getting into work at 6 am. I am so not a morning person it is ridiculous. 2010 will crack off for me it has to. I have put way to much time, energy , and emotions into this game for me to fail this year. All I can think about how in 2009 I thought I was going to be making the kind of money I wanted to but I sucked. I shouldn't say I sucked, but I definitely didn't perform that great. I know I am hard on myself but looking back at things I feel like throwing up. All those times where, I was autopiloting through sessions, not concentrating, and being a poker bot. I feel like I am doing a much better job on concentrating and capitalizing on all spots. It's crazy because since my downswing I feel like I am playing good just running bad. That might be the wrong mentality but, I still feel like I am actively looking at my game.

I don't know why it's all I think about. I am so hungry and like this game it's ridiculous. My dad tells me that I am wasting my time but I just can't wait. I have always been a rebel on the inside and do opposite of what my parents say. I mean for the most part I make great decisions, but I always know there are times where I want to do something my way. Meh oh well it is what it is. I will also try to keep the blog more personable. I mean don't get it twisted I am not dumb and obv have to exclude things because you don't know who will read what. But in general, I will put more stuff about whatever I am feeling at the time.

Also, good luck to my buddies vers, assissnato, draqq, jbrown, reasons14, and whoever else I know that is down in the Bahamas for Pokerstars PCA. I really hope you guys crush and make a name of yourself down there. I am going to try really hard to get there next year I will be there and it better be in that tournament and not a bystandard!


Saturday, January 2, 2010

December Results and 2010 10 Ninja!

This month has been a tale of two storms. As I said earlier in this blog for my first like 500 or so games I was on a sick heater. There is no better feeling than running like Usain Bolt when you are playing online. You just feel like no matter what happens you will win. AA vs 22 it's all good my deuce is coming. Unfortunately heaters don't last forever. I ended up on like a 2k downswing at the end of the month. Although normally I would complain my ROI was still at like 55% for the month of December so it's whatever. It was my best poker month and I played all 180's so that seems like I will stick to those going into next year even though the variance is just crazy.

Personally, I learned alot about myself and poker this year. I thought I was going to be like last year and just crush but that wasn't the case. Maybe some of it was due to me not concentrating while I was playing and being on autopilot but it showed in my results. Sure I can say I ran bad too but I don't think I was doing everything to put myself in the right situation to succeed. I feel like overall I am a lot more comfortable with my play in 180's and getting better with my play postflop. Of course I have the occasional slip up but for the most part I am happy with my progress in this game. I still need to finish out this prop bet with vertek and thought I could do it in December. Well I started running bad and now he has a little bit of a lead on me. I won't let him win I will make it as tough on him as possible.

For 2010 I have a lot of goals and aspirations that I want to right down so hopefully they become true. First I would like to make 40k+ playing poker this year. I know a lot of people are gonna be like wtf you barely made 10k in 2009. Oh well I don't care I am aiming high and I think I can do it while playing the 180's. Another thing I want to do is make sure I play nothing less than 1,500 games a month. It's been tough trying to find balance but at the end of the day if I don't put in volume I won't make money bottom line. I also want to start venturing in 6 max cash and dibbling and dabbling in it. I think your potential earn is higher but I at least want to win money and stack up playing sng's. I also want to make sure that I am at 200lbs or below for my birthday. That means I have to get off my lazy ass and start working out. Lastly I want to make sure I stay on track with grad school. I got an A in my first class so hopefully I can keep my momentum going. I am posting my results, sub par at best sigh, below and my graph of the month. I am really looking forward to 2010 and am proclaiming this my break out year in poker. I also would like to say I appreciate all the support of my friends/fellow grinders in 2009 and look forward to meeting a lot fo you in person in 2010.

Goal Cliff Notes:
Games Played/month: Nothing Less than 1500
Learn 6 Max Cash NL and PLO
Get down to 200 lbs
Keep on track with grad school
December Results
2009 Results