In Seattle Can't Sleep

I am in Seattle I and I can't really sleep so I thought I would do something productive and blog. Honestly, I was supposed to clean up the appartment but I have been getting sidetrack. All I can think about is poker, grinding, being successful, and having my own life. Yeah I love my job and everything but I just want to be independent. All I can think about is getting into work at 6 am. I am so not a morning person it is ridiculous. 2010 will crack off for me it has to. I have put way to much time, energy , and emotions into this game for me to fail this year. All I can think about how in 2009 I thought I was going to be making the kind of money I wanted to but I sucked. I shouldn't say I sucked, but I definitely didn't perform that great. I know I am hard on myself but looking back at things I feel like throwing up. All those times where, I was autopiloting through sessions, not concentrating, and being a poker bot. I feel like I am doing a much better job on concentrating and capitalizing on all spots. It's crazy because since my downswing I feel like I am playing good just running bad. That might be the wrong mentality but, I still feel like I am actively looking at my game.

I don't know why it's all I think about. I am so hungry and like this game it's ridiculous. My dad tells me that I am wasting my time but I just can't wait. I have always been a rebel on the inside and do opposite of what my parents say. I mean for the most part I make great decisions, but I always know there are times where I want to do something my way. Meh oh well it is what it is. I will also try to keep the blog more personable. I mean don't get it twisted I am not dumb and obv have to exclude things because you don't know who will read what. But in general, I will put more stuff about whatever I am feeling at the time.

Also, good luck to my buddies vers, assissnato, draqq, jbrown, reasons14, and whoever else I know that is down in the Bahamas for Pokerstars PCA. I really hope you guys crush and make a name of yourself down there. I am going to try really hard to get there next year I will be there and it better be in that tournament and not a bystandard!

wbmustang