Friday, October 30, 2009

The Calm

I am proud of myself due to the way that I have played recently. It seems like I really took the points of the last blog to heart and I feel like I am playing a lot better. I am not being a "zombie" during my sessions and actively thinking a lot more and I feel like it is paying off. I have also been doing more studying and I feel like I can still do more. However, I am little bit disappointed with my volume this month. I am like 70 games away from 1k games and I must reach that goal. I feel like my month is a joke if I don't hit 1k games played and it's so easy to get there. I have my schedule and everything setup so I really am pursuing 1.5k games very hard during November.

I switched it up and played a live tournament last night. My buddy Al always wants me to play but playing live just tilts me so bad until I start playing. I love being in person and playing. You get the feel of the chips, the nervousness and excitement, and everything that comes with live poker. However, when you take a beat it stings that much more live because you can't just load up another tournament. The tournament is $50+5 and it gets about 130 people when I play. It was pretty uneventful and I busted all in pre flop with AKs. At the 400/800 level one guy ep+1 limps, another person in the cut off raises to 3k I am on the button with 11k total I ship sb calls, ep+ 1 guy calls, and then the guy in the cut off calls. I am against 52s, ATs, and 66. Obv I flop trip Kings but I get two outed on the turn so gg me. I was just so mad because I feel like I win that huge pot there then I am going on a tear. Oh well thats live poker lawl donkaments.

I sit here today at work a little nervous because my grad school classes are starting today. Sigh 4:30 pm - 9 pm on Friday and 8:00 am - 2:00 pm on Saturday every other week FML. Oh well it's for a good purpose. I just want to go ahead and get this masters degree out of the way so I can be done with school forever. Often times I keep telling myself I am going to get this degree and see what happens with poker after that. I mean I will have a masters and hopefully enough money to take some time off and grind. We'll see I could be talking to soon so I dunno. My biggest thing is how my parents will react if I do this. Lol I think about it all the time but too scared to do so. I just got a promotion, they are paying for my schoo, and so easy to just make variance free money so I will just stack it up. I know I shouldn't care about what my parents will think at this point since I pay my own bills but I don't want to disrespect them. Oh well that's all I got for now.


Monday, October 26, 2009

"I'm a professional. I just do my job."

Well, I haven't updated my blog in a while because I had a lot of stuff going on. I had a lot of thinking to do about why I am not where I want to be in terms of poker. When I started to think about that I remembered this quote from Man on Fire, "I am professional. I just do my job." Even though this is a quote from the organization that kidnapped a little girl it still has merit in my life because I don't think I am being very professional in ANY aspect of my life.

I have always been a pretty gifted kid. I always was able to pretty much exceed in a lot of things that I do without putting in the proper work. As I look back on my life, I think this is a big problem and one of the biggest flaws I have. I always had the talent but never wanted to work, basically I am just lazy. For me to succeed in poker the way that I want to do I need to be more professional with it. I need to stop jerking around and really focus during my sessions. I don't know what is up with me. Maybe it is my adult ADD, or something but I need to be more focused. Bottom line, I am playing for money and need to be more professional. Even though it looks like I am playing a video game I need to always be focused at the task at hand.

I also need to make a better habit about studying my games. I don't know how often a lot of people talk about studying their games and reviewing what they are doing and playing to get better. It's like I feel like I can skip a step because I feel like I am not making mistakes. Well you can feel that way, but bottom line I think you can be hard pressed to find a person that makes no mistakes while playing. I believe that the good players have a low number to non mistakes but I can't even qualify myself in this category. Why I have the mentality of thinking is beyond me but I am trying to make a character change.

Watching, the Will Smith video on vertek's fb page really motivated me. The video is a bunch of clips of Will Smith saying some inspirational stuff and it really hit home. He says that he is not the most talented actor but he will outwork anyone. This is the mentality that I must carry in everyday I do. I mean who knows what I am capable of when I work hard. I just don't want to be known as a guy that had all the talent and didn't put in the work. It's scary because that's how I see my life going and not really poker. I have so much potential I just need to untap it. I mean I am not doing bad for myself. I just got a promotion at my engineering job which pays good but I know I can do better. I am just trying to stop living my life going through the motions.

To implement my master plan, I am going to put myself on a very strenious schedule. This is only for the best and it is going to be a good starting point. I can adjust my schedule to incorporate working out but with grad school starting this weekend this is how it is going to have to be.

5:00 am - 1:30 pm Work
2:15 pm - 7:15 pm Load up and play poker
7:15 pm - 9:00 pm (the latest) - wind down poker sessions
9:00-10:30 pm

I have classes on Friday and Saturday so I will have to figure out how I can play after class on Saturday. I know this is a demanding schedule but I expect greatness from myself.

Results have been pretty meh after I went on a downswing when I wasn't playing the greatest. I am just tired of saying I am going to do this and that and not follow through. I really need to read some of my older post and count how many times I say I am going to do something and don't end up doing it and it would be sickening. Oh well all I can do is just make positive changes and keep on trucking. Well maybe I am too hard on myself but the great people are. Till next time.