Often times there are points in your life you realize things and recently I have been thinking alot. I know I have posted before about how my results have been so much worse than last year. Some of that is attributed to the games getting toughter but I need to dig deeper than that. I don't know what is going on with me but this year has been a big test for me. My ROI has drastically decreased and I am trying to pin it on something. I know it can be easy to say it is variance but it's too easy to blame it on that. I am kind of writing this post out to call myself out. I know I am very hard on myself but it is for a good reason. I know I am capable of a lot more than what I am currently doing.
This year I have been with SNGMentors. It is an excellent program and I can't tell you how much I have learned. I feel so much better as a player but the results have not followed. I kind of feel like not only have I let the mentors down but myself as well. I am such a freaking competitive person it's ridiculous. I read other peoples blogs and they are winning and when I don't win its a punch to my gut. I am not a hater, I am happy when other people do well, but hell I feel like I should be getting the results. I read a lot of blogs about putting in hard work and more volume. Maybe I am not putting in enough work to be a great winning player. I was talking with reasons today a little bit about my frustrations. I appreciate him for listening to me whine but more than anything help give me guidance. I pulled up my graphs in the 180's. Even though I have a 2k sample I am clearly not doing something right. The varaince has been ridiculous and I am slight loser, if you wanna call being down -$386 either slight or just a loser ;-). I know I could revert to playing the 45's and increasing my stakes but for some reason I want to crush the 180's. I refuse to feel like I can' t beat these games when I KNOW I can. I think I will try something different this month. I am not gonna play another 45 man for the rest of the year. I will be only focusing on 180's so I will be playing the $2's and the $12's. I know I may want to slit my rest if I run booty in the $2's but this is the only way I see myself getting better. I will have to study hard this month and see where it leads. After the month of December I will be able to shape my upcoming poker plans for the next year.
I am leaving Denver in a couple of hours so I will be grinding tomorrow. I must say I enjoyed being home with my family, even though I caught grief for playing one day, and seeing some of my old friends. It's always good to come back and see the people you grow up with. Bottom line is that I am very hungry and I will make things change around instead of just hoping and praying for positive variance. Below I am going to post my graphs for 2008 and 2009 as well as post my 180's graph. Here is to finishing the year off strong cuz vertek just aint gonna get a free $500.
Well, I am back in Denver right now. It's really funny to look back last year and see what I was talking about during the month of my blog. First of all, it was funny to see how low volume I used to have. I used to run like 500-600 games for like a 25% ROI what a sick life. I think the games were probably a little bit softer last year as well but funny to see how far I have gone. Also it was also funny to see I wrote the same thing about the Broncos. Way to go fellas you have actually collapsed twice in two years who would of thunk it.
As far as poker is concerned I didn't feel like playing that much on Tuesday. I decided to do a little bit of studying instead. I def saw some spots here and there where I missed some shoves but for the most part everything is meh. I guess I am trying to focus on finding out my weaknesses even though I should be winning. I don't know how much I am going to play over Thanksgiving break because I dont' know how much I will get sweated. If I do though, I will wake up really early and then just grind for like 4 hrs. Like a 6-10 shift. I know I sound like a degen but hell a brotha is actually trying to make money this month. BTW I would like give Assassinato a shout out for that email he sent me. It really put things in perspective and got me back on my jo.
When I am at home I really don't have too much planned. Probably will see a couple of friends and just chill out with the family. I haven't been back home since Christmas so this was a long time coming. I need to do a better job of coming back home because the flights are super cheap. Other than that everything is gravy and the family is doing good. Probably will update on Sunday after I grind. But till then Happy Thanksgiving. Oh yeah and congratulations to reasons for that nice little MTT score.
I was going to post this earlier but I had to cool out for a little bit. Today sucked like 10000000000%. First it was poker. I feel like I always put myself in good situations in these 180's to actually win. However when you lose hands like KK vs. A3 vs. 88 for massive chips it doesn't work out like that. All in all I think I played well but the results didn't follow. If I did suck out my opponent would just resuck out on me on the river. It was just absolutely irritating. The end of the month is coming so we will see what happens.
Another thing that was annoying to watch is the collapse of the Denver Broncos. Hey lets win 5 in a row get Wil all excited and then loose 4 straight. It's absolutely ridiculous and Chris Simms is the worst backup qb ever. They should cut him after that terrible showing. Either way this month has sucked for me with poker and sports just hoping to run good in something.
I am fairly proud of myself for what I did during the past weekend. I finally got my Windows 7 installed in 64 bit mode. I had to buy a new 500 gb hard drive so I could backup all the information I needed. It helped a lot because I had to pretty much format my old 1TB drive so I wouldn't have any settings etc which are a headache to setup sometimes. After I did that I installed a lot of my poker related programs and did the whole licensing thing. Licenses are such a headache when you have to reformat or upgrade your computer.
I played this weekend too but wasn't too thrilled about my results. I thought I played a lot better on Saturday then I did on Sunday even though I made a little money on Sunday. The reason I was so disappointed with how I played on Sunday because I wasn't playing my A game. It's so much easier to lie to someone else but you can't lie to yourself. After the session, I was like I played alright but deep down I knew I played terrible. I had far too many misclicks and did dumb stuff and I don't know wtf was going on. I am doing a better job of staying focused but it was just terrible how bad I played on Sunday. Oh well I managed to actually win a $12/180 the fact remains that I played bad. SNG's are funny because the more consistent you play obv the better results you have. It's tough because you are human and might have off days but if you are professional and do your job then your bad days will be limited.
Today I plan on playing for 5-6 hrs. I am really working on playing more 180's and less 45's but it sucks when you have to load a lot fewer tables. The $7.70's load times are absolutely garbage and I never really could get that many going. Mostly it was $12 180's mixed in with like 4-5 45's at the most. I want to keep it like this because I like playing 180's and I like playing 45's too. But I dunno we will see what happens. I also need to find time to do some studying for grad school sigh. Lastly I need to buy a chair and move my computer to the office area. This way I won't be able to turn on the tv and will be 100% free of distractions.
Well, I actually got two things accomplished with my life yesterday. First of all I went to the dentist. I thought the visit was going to be pretty bad but it was alright. I found out that I need to brush and floss better, well that wasn't a shocker, and I have to go back for a deep clean. The only bad thing is that I have one small cavity but I kinda knew that was there from when eating candy I could feel it.
I also finally upgraded my computer to Windows 7 and I am pretty happy. It was so aggravating having HEM and Table Ninja really slow down my computer. It even is more aggravating when you know it's because your OS can't recognize all of your RAM. XP had a limit on how much it recognized and that problem is solved. I was going to upgrade to Vista but just waited until Windows 7 came out. I probably will just play the same amount of tables at first to see if it runs better.
I also received a little bit of coaching from Jbrown yesterday and feel like I learned a lot. It's always good to have coaching sessions because you see the spots where you are missing. Anyways I was missing some spots and being nitty in others. I would expand more but I don't know who is reading this blog. Either way I know what I am doing wrong and going to try to correct my problems. Also I won't be playing any 45's for at least a week. Jbrown and I talked about this and he said that it would be good so that I can get my 180 man game down. I feel so confident in my 45 man game that think I will be alright. Another thing that he said that really struck home is don't be one of those guys that worry about how you run. I do have a tendency to do this but hey I can't control it. The only thing I can control is if I am playing my A game and not missing spots and the results will come. Hopefully these changes will help and I look forward to pwning soon.
Often times when I start off the month off I get kind of lazy and be like well oh I won some money I can chill. I am trying to work on making myself keep plugging volume. Now that I feel so good about how I am playing I need to put in as much volume as possible. I didn't play any last nigh because I wanted to chill and ended up just staying home playing some Fifa and studying. Hey at least I did something poker related.
Yesterday I also watched the Phil Ivey special on E:60 and it was pretty cool. I mean I think they could of made it better but Phil was as open on that as he has been in any type of interview. It was pretty sick to see the life he lived and how high he gambled. When he signs a check for $1 million to play some craps I just laughed and thought. I was like dang I don't think I have enough courage to put that amount of 0's on a check. I know he worked pretty hard to get where he is at and seeing stuff like that motivates. I probably will never get to the point where I play craps for that much money though lol.
I probably am going to keep plugging volume this weekend too seeing that I don't have class this weekend. I still have to do stuff like upgrading my computer, sigh yes again I said it, and figure out how to get some studying in for actual class. I really need to start getting on that class stuff like ASAP before it starts to snowball out of control. I think I probably need to find a way to look at stuff at least an hour a day.
Anyways I am pretty tired so I am going to bed early. Something that has been pissing me off lately is that fact that I am so sleepy all the time. I don't know wtf is going on but during the day I am so tired. I have gone the route of starting to drink energy drinks and stuff and that is all bad I think. Whenever I take an energy drink for some reason I feel like I am taking years off my life and I hate it. Maybe it has to do with my nutrition which sucks. I really need to evaluate how I treat my body because I do it so bad. Lol I feel so dumb sometimes but I will get it together soon.
T.I - Motivation You can look me in my eyes, see I'm ready for whatever Anythang don't kill me, make me better I ain't dead nigga, you can take the fame and the chedda And the game, and the deal, I'm still a go-getter Take my freedom for the moment but it ain't fo-ever I got the spirit of a god, heart of a dope dealer I'm a king, seen hangin' with some cold killas I ain't never back down or ran from no nigga I ain't sat down yet, pimp, standin' gorilla Even if I'ma all alone or standin' with four niggaz Tell'em jump, pimpin' it don't get no realer 5'9" with the soul of a 6'4" nigga I separated the fakes, paralized from the waist down From the real stand up guys of the A-Town Can't even look me in my eyes, put yo face down I'm outta jail nigga, whachu gotta say now?
Motivation Niggaz fakin' only gonna inspire (Motivation) All yo hatin' is fuel to my fire (It's motivation) Niggaz plottin' on the crown soft droppin' (It's motivation) Hey but I ain't slowin' down and I ain't stoppin' (Motivation) Now nigga don't stop my show (Motivation) You ain't know I don't stop, I go (It's motivation) Sucka niggaz can't make me suffer Just make me stronger and make me tougher (It's motivation)
I was trying to post this song but I can't find one to post due to copyright reasons. I guess TI needs all the money he can get while locked up and doesn't need music pirates killing his bankroll. This has to be one of the most inspiring songs for me for some reason. When I started playing my session yesterday I played this song and was really vibing to it. Little did I know that this song will be my anthem because of what happened yesterday.
When I started my session, I set up my regular stuff to register for in Table Ninja then went to the MTT tab. I was like hey might as well try to play the nightly $70k. Two problems I didn't know the buyin and I didn't know how long I wanted to play. Well after I registered and started playing I realized it was a $50+5. I wasn't too mad about that thanks to msusyr24 making that score and inflating the bankroll. The next problem I would get over. I knew I was going to load for 4 hrs like I usually do but hey it was icing on the cake to get deep in the nightly $70k. I ended up having a good session with SNG's and got 13th in the Nightly $70k. I guess that's all fine and dandy but I really wanted to final table this one. Hell I really wanted to win it. I have been waiting so long for my score and here it is I could taste it. I am kind of disappointed in my bustout hand because maybe I went broke to easy but my stack was just too shallow to fold imo.
PokerStars Game #34901296067: Tournament #209011082, $50+$5 USD Hold'em No Limit - Level XXII (4000/8000) - 2009/11/04 0:30:15 PT [2009/11/04 3:30:15 ET] Table '209011082 130' 9-max Seat #2 is the button Seat 2: JerWorld (59454 in chips) Seat 3: piAnisSimoO (641465 in chips) Seat 5: payup123 (400184 in chips) Seat 6: dapperson (340220 in chips) Seat 7: wbmustang (173738 in chips) Seat 8: 925rounder (366681 in chips) Seat 9: punisher03 (515766 in chips) JerWorld: posts the ante 800 piAnisSimoO: posts the ante 800 payup123: posts the ante 800 dapperson: posts the ante 800 wbmustang: posts the ante 800 925rounder: posts the ante 800 punisher03: posts the ante 800 piAnisSimoO: posts small blind 4000 payup123: posts big blind 8000 *** HOLE CARDS *** Dealt to wbmustang [Kd Jd] dapperson: folds wbmustang: raises 12000 to 20000 925rounder: folds punisher03: calls 20000 JerWorld: folds piAnisSimoO: folds payup123: calls 12000 *** FLOP *** [7d 5c Kc] payup123: checks wbmustang: bets 40000 punisher03: raises 40000 to 80000 payup123: folds wbmustang: raises 72938 to 152938 and is all-in punisher03: calls 72938 *** TURN *** [7d 5c Kc] [6c] *** RIVER *** [7d 5c Kc 6c] [7s] *** SHOW DOWN *** wbmustang: shows [Kd Jd] (two pair, Kings and Sevens) punisher03: shows [Ks Ad] (two pair, Kings and Sevens - Ace kicker) punisher03 collected 375476 from pot punisher03 said, "gg" *** SUMMARY *** Total pot 375476 | Rake 0 Board [7d 5c Kc 6c 7s] Seat 2: JerWorld (button) folded before Flop (didn't bet) Seat 3: piAnisSimoO (small blind) folded before Flop Seat 5: payup123 (big blind) folded on the Flop Seat 6: dapperson folded before Flop (didn't bet) Seat 7: wbmustang showed [Kd Jd] and lost with two pair, Kings and Sevens Seat 8: 925rounder folded before Flop (didn't bet) Seat 9: punisher03 showed [Ks Ad] and won (375476) with two pair, Kings and Sevens
Oh well gg me and I will take the $500. It was so much fun getting that deep in a tournament. I was concentrating so hard and my adrenaline was just pumpin. One day I will make a deep run and TID but for now this just like a sample at Costco and I want the whole pie.
Other than that I still need to get stuff done at my apartment. I still have not upgraded to Windows 7. The most productive thing I have done with my life is that I have a dentist appointment set up. I have put this one off for some time and now I am pretty scared. It's gonna be painful but hey I know a certain someone wants to make sure my smile stays intact.
Anyways, I know it seems like I blog only when things go good and that is really not the case. Usually when I take breaks from blogging I have a lot going on and I don't know how to put in on paper as the say. I guess from now on I will just start typing and see what happens.
In poker people talk about the aha moment that happens before they catch on and start crushing. For some reason I think I might be getting to that point. Gone are the days I am just going through the motions playing the game. I feel like I am more actively thinking about all my situations instead of clicking away mindlessly. I feel like I have said this in the past and I hope that it really sticks this time. Now if only I can apply these principles to everything else in life sigh.
I feel like I have so much to do around my house and not enough time in the day to do it. I have clothes that need folding, I need to tidy up my place in general, I need to finally set up my office by getting an office chair, I need to upgrade my computer to Windows 7, I need to play and study poker, and on top of that I need to read for grad school. So much to do but I feel like I don't have enough time. I have a great idea, instead of thinking about doing this things I can start doing them. Sounds real easy but not for me. J/K I am working on not being as lazy but I am taking baby steps I need to start taking grown man steps. This upcoming will be interesting to see how I balance everything out but I am sure I can. Sometimes sacrifices must be made and if that means less partying/drinking/spending money then it might be for the best. Of course I don't do this all the time, but it might happen less frequently. I mean most of the time I don't end up playing is because I go out to happy hour and get too many drinks in me and come home and pass out.
I am pretty proud of my month poker wise. I did well with a 23% ROI over 1,009 games for close to $2k. The reason I am so proud of this month is because you can see the correlation from me realizing things and my results that follow. This is why I truly believe that the light has gone on. The graphs of results will be at the bottom of my post. On top of that msusyr24 shipped the Sunday Second Chance for $45k and I had a piece of him. I really am happy for him because he puts in a lot of volume and time on his game. Just another example about what hard work can get you so congrats msusyr24. I don't know how much my share will be worth until he does the math but I am looking forward to it. This is one of the rare times where I have staked someone and they actually did good. I have staked good player countless times before and not gotten a positive ROI. Maybe this will make me take it seriously and start tracking my staking adventures.
Other than that I really can't complain about anything. Oh yeah I do have a prop bet with vertek set up. It is going to be a $500 to see who gets to $20k profit on sharkscope first. This should be interesting because lately he has been pwning me in volume but we will see what happens. If I want to win I definitely have to focus. This has to be one of my largest bets I have set up and I don't plan on losing. GL vertek I hope we both stay motivated and make money at the same time.
28 Year old Industrial Engineer. I'm just trying to live B. I just want to travel, play poker, look fit, support my favorite teams (Manchester United, Denver Broncos, and Denver Nuggets), and be happy.