Often times there are points in your life you realize things and recently I have been thinking alot. I know I have posted before about how my results have been so much worse than last year. Some of that is attributed to the games getting toughter but I need to dig deeper than that. I don't know what is going on with me but this year has been a big test for me. My ROI has drastically decreased and I am trying to pin it on something. I know it can be easy to say it is variance but it's too easy to blame it on that. I am kind of writing this post out to call myself out. I know I am very hard on myself but it is for a good reason. I know I am capable of a lot more than what I am currently doing.
This year I have been with SNGMentors. It is an excellent program and I can't tell you how much I have learned. I feel so much better as a player but the results have not followed. I kind of feel like not only have I let the mentors down but myself as well. I am such a freaking competitive person it's ridiculous. I read other peoples blogs and they are winning and when I don't win its a punch to my gut. I am not a hater, I am happy when other people do well, but hell I feel like I should be getting the results. I read a lot of blogs about putting in hard work and more volume. Maybe I am not putting in enough work to be a great winning player. I was talking with reasons today a little bit about my frustrations. I appreciate him for listening to me whine but more than anything help give me guidance. I pulled up my graphs in the 180's. Even though I have a 2k sample I am clearly not doing something right. The varaince has been ridiculous and I am slight loser, if you wanna call being down -$386 either slight or just a loser ;-). I know I could revert to playing the 45's and increasing my stakes but for some reason I want to crush the 180's. I refuse to feel like I can' t beat these games when I KNOW I can. I think I will try something different this month. I am not gonna play another 45 man for the rest of the year. I will be only focusing on 180's so I will be playing the $2's and the $12's. I know I may want to slit my rest if I run booty in the $2's but this is the only way I see myself getting better. I will have to study hard this month and see where it leads. After the month of December I will be able to shape my upcoming poker plans for the next year.
I am leaving Denver in a couple of hours so I will be grinding tomorrow. I must say I enjoyed being home with my family, even though I caught grief for playing one day, and seeing some of my old friends. It's always good to come back and see the people you grow up with. Bottom line is that I am very hungry and I will make things change around instead of just hoping and praying for positive variance. Below I am going to post my graphs for 2008 and 2009 as well as post my 180's graph. Here is to finishing the year off strong cuz vertek just aint gonna get a free $500.
2008
2009
180's
No comments:
Post a Comment