Post Black Friday: Where Have You Been

I don't know why I agreed to actually follow through and do something but since Reasons14 actually updated his blog I said that I would myself to discuss what I have been going through since my last post on September 20, 2010.

Well obviously we know that Black Friday hit.  That is the main reason I didn't update the blog.  I pretty much completely stopped playing poker.  I was bitter.  I was bitter I didn't put more volume in.  I thought the game would always be there.  I was bitter about the fact that the US Gubament was able to cut off my money printer and tell me what I couldn't do.  I was bitter because there was no bailout coming to me like the banks.  I can go on and on but I was just pretty miserable and not the most enjoyable person to be around.

I really think I was borderline depressed looking back at things.  I had poured some much time and energy to become a winning SNG MTT player on PokerStars and it was all taken away from me.  I didn't feel like playing live much either because it would be supporting the very people that took away online poker.  Plus, live poker is not the funnest thing on earth.  Germs are floating around, dealing with annoying people, the rake, the list can go on and on.  It's just so much more fun to be able to play at your house in your own surroundings, your own food, your own environment.  You are psychologically able to feel a little more comfortable to be honest.

You see how athletes get depressed and don't know how to cope once they leave the game it felt very similar.  But, I decided to turn something bad into a good situation and to stop feeling sorry for myself.  I decided if I couldn't play poker anymore I might as well try to get in shape.  As much time as I spent on the tables I definitely neglected my health.  I just looked in the mirror and said I am in my mid Twenties I am supposed to be in the best shape of my life not the worse.  To give myself so added motivation I started a prob bet with my boy hotbizzle and we decided to see if we could complete The Insanity Workout.  Any person that would miss a day would have to pay $20/workout day missed.  Well we didn't 100% complete the bet, he quit in the 2nd month tbh, but it was worth it because it got my ass in gear.  Here are the results.

Looking back on things I can't believe how bad I let myself go but that's life.  I was happy because for one time in my life I said I would do something and followed through.  After I got done with Insanity I didn't make too much more progress.  I did Insanity Asylum before I went home which is around a 30 day program.  During that Christmas 2011 I asked my mom for some BowFlex Dumbbells.  She is an awesome woman and of course got them for me because I am spoiled :-( .  Anyways I hit the ground running when I got back in 2012 by doing P90x and Insanity Hybrid.  I had good results like that and finally got into the best shape of my life.  I was always a chubby kid so now I was getting to actually look like I had a hope and a prayer of getting a six pack.  Here are the results from the hybrid.

I finished the hybrid in April and then proceeded to do LeanGains.  LeanGains is an intermittent fasting (IF) approach where you fast for 16 hours and eat for 8 hours.  Essentially you are skipping breakfast, keeping a "feeding window".  This is supposed to do wonders because when your stomach is actually empty and you are not stuffing your face all day you burn more fat.  But what trumps this magically feeding window is the concept of Calories Out < Calories In = Weight Loss.  Don't let anyone fool you that is what weight loss is all about.  Simple enough equation but hard to master.  I also ditched the Beach Body Workouts and started to get into the gym.  I mean I was paying for the membership so I started to focus more on compound movements Deadlifts, Bench Press, and Squat. 

I have to look at myself in the mirror and really say that Lean Gains is great when you comply and are disciplined.  I think I got complacent with the fact that I had totally changed my body so I can do whatever.  I constantly was drinking, eating outside of the window, binge eating, everything that is not conducive to getting lean.  It all comes down to discipline and consistency and I totally did not adhere to any of that.  Plus I went home for the 2012 holidays so your boy was eating super good.

At the beginning of 2013 I decided that I was going to commit and hit LeanGains hard.  I started when I got back and had a good successful week with diet and training.  The crucial second week came up which makes and breaks your routine and I got sick.  I didn't get the flu but I feel like absolute shit.  It took me about two weeks to recover from that.  After I got healthy I was eating whatever not hitting the gym taking it easy.  Then I went to a prayer breakfast where a man gave a great speech about being stucky in the messy middle.  About how we do things in our life ask for repentance, do better, then we get somewhere in the middle of our journey only to get stuck back in the messy middle.  That murky place where you can't see what you came from or where you are headed too.

I think my health, fitness, and nutrition had hit that point.  I knew where I wanted to go but I knew where I came from but just couldn't see the end.  But that's changing now. As of February 6th, 2013 I have done great with my nutrition.  I am taking things day by day and being a lot more mindful of controlling my mind and urges to eat bullshit or go out and drink.  I know everything is good in moderation but I need to get back on the discipline that got me to lose the weight in the first place.  That's why I loved this blog and posting on the Beach Body Forums.  It is all about accountability.  I was accountable to playing x number of tournaments and didn't like looking like a clown when I had to explain to everyone how I dropped the ball.  People always talk about doing things but very rarely do they take action.

Well what does all of this have to do with poker.  You are right nothing.  I have told myself that this year I am going to get back to grinding live tournaments and try to see if there is a way to get back online.  If I do get back online and play there will be 0 talk about it on here because I don't want to "incriminate" myself in Washington State.  I have had success with tournaments and doing better paying attention at the tables and adapting to the new online game.  I have been watching some videos as well to get myself up to speed. 

As an accountability tool, I will be updating this blog once a week.  I will be updating pictures for progress every 30 days.  I would show you where I am starting but kind of embarrassed because I let myself go alittle bit.  I mean not too much to where I was originally but I definitely took a step backwards.  I look around the way I did before I started P90x.  It is what it is I keep telling myself that fitness and life is a long journey.  You will have ups you will have downs, but if you recover from the downs, and are consistent in what you do everything will work out.  I remember telling my co-worker "You know if I could be consistent on being consistent my life will be a lot better."  I am really going to take this to heart.  

I leave with a video of me Deadlifting 385x6.  I shot the video for a form check and see I got some work to do.  I thought I was doing things right but I definitely got some pointers on how to improve my form so I won't hurt my back.  

Goals

-Gym 3x Week

-Update Blog 1x Week

-Monthly Photo Updates

-Stop procrastinating 

I know people can get lazy and be like I am not reading this giant wall of text so here are my cliff notes.

Cliffs:

-Black Friday no more PokerStars

-Got bitter and angry

-Was fat lost weight via Insanity and P90x

-Starting LeanGains 

-Didn't adhere/commit who heartedly to the diet took step backwards

-Starting back up in January 2013

-Got sick for two weeks and recovered (No Gym, Ate Whatever, wanted to get healthy)

-After I recovered ate like crap

-Got back on the horse on February 6th

Hope everyone is having results in anything they are doing in life and living to the fullest. Till the next time.

wbmustang